Grief is hard and can be tough to maneuver on an everyday basis. Grief during the holidays is even tougher. The holidays will feel like a proverbial rollercoaster of emotions that can hit one at any given time and place.
It does not matter how long it has been since a loss of a loved one has occurred; Grief does not have a time limit on it.
If I could get any message about life and death through to the masses, it would be that Grief is forever!
Time does not heal or take away the pain of loss! Time allows for the management of all that goes with Grief and the missing of a loved one.
Grief is an individual experience, emotion, and reaction.
Every person grieves in their way, in their own time and within their Soul and Heart space.
A few things to consider:
Here are some tips to help your loved ones through grief during the holidays.
To show respect to the person or persons who are in the grieving process, discuss ahead of time how they want their deceased loved one remembered. Some may say they are not ready for outward or open display of loss, and some may wish to have an empty chair and a photo of their loved one at the holiday dinner table.
The person or persons grieving may want to do things very differently and begin new traditions, and that is ok. They are not forgetting their loved one or “moving on” from memories. Starting new traditions is often needed to get through family celebrations.
It is also good to have a designated area or room is available for the griever to go to if their emotions overcome them.
Don’t tiptoe around the griever’s loss. Ask the griever how they want others to remember their loved ones. Let your guests know that if the griever brings up their deceased loved one, that it is then ok to offer a memory of the loved one.
Our first holidays after my husband passed away, my family and I held to our traditions and made my husband’s favorite recipes. We talked throughout the day of how we missed him and pointed out the events that would make him laugh at us. We gave each other permission to shed tears if and when emotions welled up. In the second year, we began integrating new traditions while incorporating many of my husband’s favorite recipes and traditions that were also our favorites. Tears will still come forth, and we are ok with it.